1. I now have a job. Probably most important. It's a really good job and one that brings me joy. Mostly just having a job brings me joy, but I also super love it here and 99% of the people (there's always one, right?)
2. My depression remains but is on the up. Jobbing helps. Being broken up with does not. Jake halted our relationship the day I got my job. It's actually been a really positive thing but something we're both still dealing with. We still live together and things are good for the most part but a lot of logistics remain. I don't really know how to act around him? Sometimes I try to be closed off and disconnect. Sometimes I can't turn off my feelings and try to love on him. Nothing really works and I never know if what I'm doing is inappropriate. It's awkward and difficult, but not negative... if that makes sense.
3. I'm getting better at running, but my running doesn't feel like it's getting better. Does that make sense? My runs aren't faster or great quality. But I feel like my mental game is better and I've had a 19 mile run and a 20 mile run back to back Sundays that went awesome and I wasn't even sore the next day. Usually I did crossfit the following day as well AND had good pace runs the day prior. We'll see how good of prep they are for the ultra...
4. I haven't signed up for the ultra yet and am nervous for several reasons. Will it be a good race? Is it out of my league? I'm not sure. I need to do it anyway. It's in MOAB. I do have 3 races in the next 2 weeks though. My Black Squirrel half this Saturday, which I'm doing totally solo. And the next day a 10k in Lone Tree. Then the following weekend is the Kite Lake Triple 14er race that I'm excited about but also isn't the best timing. But at the same time is perfect timing and I'm just nervous and lazy. I've been going strong for like 3 weeks, to be 5 weeks in a streak I might break.
5. I have a crush on a boy, but I won't say anything more about that. I'm becoming obsessive and stalky because I have no friends and am incredibly lonely. So I need to chill out.