And now it's been so long, I don't even know what I want to do anymore. I've completely lost sight of any career that would fit me. I keep being hesitant to go back to school because I don't want to spend any money, but if at 27 I feel it's too late to start a new career path, how would I feel at 35? 45? My dad started nursing when he was 50. Shouldn't I use that as motivation, realizing it's never too late to go back? So I rack up some school debt. Maybe one day the government will realize how much we're all suffering in this economy WITHOUT such debt. The consensus is the same everywhere I look - people of all ages with many different degrees can't find work. And there's some good advice being given, but.... but what? What exactly is my problem anyway? I don't even understand the situation I'm in/ And because of that, I'm depressed and have no idea what to do with myself.
Should I start a raw food business? What's the risk? You need money to make money in this case. I'd need an adviser for property management, an accountant for business finances. I can't afford any of that. Small business loan? How scary in this economy, do I really risk that??? And if it fails? I'll be just like my grandpa - big dreams and ideals and tons of failed attempts. I'm so sick of failure.
And all I keep thinking is how ambitious I was to change the world. But I had nobody to actually guide me into that role and just kept thinking it would just "happen." I keep watching these political TV shows, or my favorite Bones, and keep thinking "THAT'S WHAT I WANT." I want to be in government. A CIA agent. Or a political administrative role in the White House. Why didn't I go that route? All the nay-sayers. Yet I keep wanting it. Maybe I should see how to get into the Air Force. Yeah yeah, it's probably not what I imagine. Who cares. It's something.